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oldironsides... how do you tell if it's recorded? Piece of alternate universe crap, you're lucky I don't rewire you into a double-ended vibra--
BEEEEEEEP
oldironsides... how do you tell if it's recorded? Piece of alternate universe crap, you're lucky I don't rewire you into a double-ended vibra--
BEEEEEEEP
Voice - this would have to be the 69th comment
Date: 2013-02-23 10:23 pm (UTC)[Oh no.]
... dammit, Anders. You're drunk, aren't you.
Voice - Perfection.
Date: 2013-02-24 12:23 am (UTC)Yes. Yes. I think... yes.
Voice - Foreshadowing, possibly...
Date: 2013-02-25 01:05 am (UTC)[He snickers, sighs, and moves along.]
... none of those messes were your fault, or... or anything we could've prevented, alright? All of it was bad, but we came out of it fine. We always will. I like now, too, but falling back on ifs and buts, worrying about things that haven't happened yet and letting it get to you... that's not okay. You've gotta be able to move past it.
Voice - Foreshadowing is awesome
Date: 2013-02-25 02:07 am (UTC)[The flood of words stops and Anders sits there silently for a moment, fingers tracing the side of the Forge as if he could touch Tony from here. He's a bit more quiet when he speaks again, because there's one thing that took a few moments to sink in, but he wants it.]
You said we always will. You mean that?
voice
Date: 2013-02-27 04:34 am (UTC)Tony's tone lowers, his words soft.]
Yeah, of course I mean it. I don't make promises I can't keep.
[Pepper might disagree, but fffff. This is a slightly bigger thing than "I promise I won't wear high-tops to the charity ball."]
I... I don't know what to tell you about Isabela. If she's gone in the Mist, all we can do is wait for her to come back. I did. In the meantime, we keep looking. And the girl you "made" Tranquil?-- [he says, emphasizing the word] -- What people choose to do, you can't help. You can't hold yourself to blame for it.
I want this month to end, too. At least you're half in the bag. I oughta do the same...
voice
Date: 2013-02-27 05:39 am (UTC)How do you do that?
[His voice is still tired, still a little hurt, but there's just a bit of wonder to it too.]
You... You promise, and you make me believe in you. I trust so few, but I trust you.
[Anders is silent for a moment after that, as realization of what he's saying, of how much he's saying, starts to sink in, and he tries for a small bit of shield in case.]
If you drink too, when I get home I won't feel quite as much the fool. I talk too much sometimes.
voice
Date: 2013-02-27 05:55 am (UTC)It felt like a power he wasn't sure he should have. Like something he could abuse and lose by one ignorant word alone.]
Ah... it... I don't know, Anders. [he laughs quietly, mostly to himself, at himself] You're as nuts as I am, maybe.
And no, you don't.
voice
Date: 2013-02-27 06:43 am (UTC)It won't be the first time someone's thought me nuts.
[The buzz is dying down, mostly due to his (annoying, in his opinion) Grey Warden metabolism, and Anders is content to sit quietly for a few moments as he tries to figure out what to say. There's a temptation there, but he's slightly too sober to give in.]
I... I don't think that's what's going on here, though. I'm possessed, but I'm sane.
voice
Date: 2013-02-27 08:03 am (UTC)[Then again, the concept of what was truly right and wrong was often a skewed one. Not crazy by any means, but easily misunderstood.
But that's not what they're talking about here.]
You think it's something else?
voice
Date: 2013-02-27 08:33 am (UTC)Anders knows the silence is stretching. Tony's waiting for an answer, and not on the Justice thing. He's had a thought, an inkling, since the day he'd walked into the Mist expecting to die with no real goodbye to or from Tony. And then when Stark thought he was dying...
Should he just say it? The worst that can happen is more than he wants to contemplate. The man could get overwhelmed, feel pressured, suggest a break. And if Anders doesn't say anything, dodges instead, things stay as they are. More than he'd ever hoped for. That's not bad. The opposite, really.
But for all of his fear, all of his holding back, Anders is learning to hope again. He knows Tony cares. We always will. And so, closing his eyes, scarcely daring to keep breathing, Anders gives hope its first chance in longer than he knows.]
I think I've fallen for you. [And then, just barely more than a whisper,] I think I may love you.
voice
Date: 2013-02-27 09:10 am (UTC)He's not sure what it is. For the moment, he only hears himself breathe, the whirr of the Forge a subtle reminder that there's still someone there on the other side, waiting.
And it's here that he realizes he can't do what comes natural and think only of himself. His blunt lack of experience with love, with any form of devotion other than what he had with Pepper. But that was years of a bizarre sort of companionship-- a strictly business cooperative that, over time, became something else. Something that, even when he was taken from home, he had yet to really understand. Maybe that was love, too. He'd never said it to her. Never said it to anyone. Maybe Mom. That wasn't quite the same though, was it?
Part of him can't adjust to the fact that it had hardly been a year yet of knowing the mage. Far less time in any sort of relationship. That part is what's invoking a headache.
The other part is what's threatening to forcibly shove his heart out through his ribcage. The part that's reminding him none-too-gently that together, they've been through more than anyone he knows back home, and all in a matter of months. Mere months. He's seen depths and layers to someone he hadn't expected. Allowed more of himself to be put out there than he'd ever intended.
And at any time, it could all be snuffed out. Next week. Tomorrow.
Eight minutes from now.]
Same.
[It sounds stupid, and he immediately hates the fact that he can't retract it in favour of something less... well. Yeah. Stupid.]
... I mean... I mean I feel the same way. Or I'm pretty sure I do. It's not something I'm-- [a pause, an exhale] I don't know how to say it.
[and a distinctly nervous laugh]
You know what I'm trying to say back, right? I just... I...
... dammit, Anders.
voice
Date: 2013-02-27 10:17 am (UTC)He's horribly sober now, leaning against a building, halfway home, not sure if he should even keep going, or give up and go back to the Foxhole, or what.
And then Tony speaks, and Anders lets out the breath he hadn't known he'd been holding, sagging against the wall behind him. Anders laughs at the question, at the cursing, sinking down near to the ground in relief.]
Yes. Yes, I know, Tony.
[The ground is radiating cold upward and Anders doesn't care. He's happy. Stupidly so. More than he has any right to be, and he thinks he might even be drunk off of this.]
I'll be the cheesy one. You can stick with 'same.' Or 'dammit Anders.' Either works.
voice
Date: 2013-02-27 09:28 pm (UTC)Go with what you know, right?
[Another laugh, still flecked with nerves. He's not sure what he's just set into motion, if anything. Not sure if what he's admitted to was altogether bright... but what's there to lose? Hell, he'd even managed to refrain from being mushy about it. Maybe it was a tad selfish, but that was entirely mendable.]
Listen... where are you? You wanna come home and we can talk more? Or I can meet you at the Fox.
Either way, there's more booze happening. We've gotta celebrate the fact that you didn't throw up five seconds after that confession.
[ ... ]
.... I mean, you didn't, right?
voice
Date: 2013-02-28 03:27 am (UTC)I didn't get sick, and I'm about halfway home. It's probably best to not head to the Fox, I think I may have made your bartender nervous. It takes a lot for me to get at all muddle-headed or stay there, and I was there for a time.
[A pause as he looks at his Forge while pushing himself back up from ground and wall.]
...More of a time than I realized, apparently. I'd say I should leave the Forge behind in the future, but I don't regret this conversation. And everyone else may forgive me. ...Possibly not Snape. Right. Now I'm babbling all over again.
I'm on my way, Tony. Anthony.
voice
Date: 2013-02-28 04:30 am (UTC)Anthony, eh?
[And it isn't said with any note of disdain. Nothing like that. If anything, the edge in his tone is coy, as if to say "yeah, you know what? You can get away with it".]
I'll come meet you. Should get out of the shop anyway. Don't worry about the bartender. Trust me, I know of at least three of my waitresses who'll be grilling me about why you were there drinking alone. They'll figure I did something to screw this up.
[snicker.]
And... I'm gonna do this right, okay. Once we're face to face. It's just... it's weird for me. I didn't get to throw back a bunch of shots before opening my mouth.
voice
Date: 2013-02-28 07:25 am (UTC)[He's walking too, taking the normal route home to make sure he runs into Tony. It's a simple statement, the name one, before he lets himself start to hope at what Tony might be saying. Hope is such a dangerous thing. But it's paid off tonight, already, and he can't help the budding feeling. Do this right. Even his smile is crooked and stupidly silly now.]
And... okay, Tony. Okay.
[It's quite okay. His heart could burst from how okay it is.]
I'll kiss you in front of your waitresses later if you'd like. Let them know that it's all right. That it's good, even.
voice --> action!
Date: 2013-03-03 06:44 am (UTC)[Whether it goes noticed or not, there's definitely a boost in his pace. He knows he's slighted his friend here, who poured out his heart and said something Stark knows damn well wasn't easy. Much as he likes to jab the guy for being hyper-sentimental, it's... well... who he is. And he rather likes that.
He'd make it up to him. Say the words. He owed him as much.
Up ahead, a familiar silhouette comes into view, and he pockets the Forge.]
... hey!
action!
Date: 2013-03-03 08:01 am (UTC)Anders' heart skips a beat when he sees Tony. Yes, he feels the same things for this man as he did when he headed out to work this morning. That hasn't changed. But he's said it now, admitted it to himself and Stark both, and somehow a hope had actually come through. He closes the distance, glad to see the man.]
Aren't you a welcome sight.
[There may be just the faintest bit of swagger in his walk. He's cared for, that much, by someone else. For the first time in years, Anders feels actually happy.
Anders leans in to give Tony a brief kiss in greeting, so much shorter than what he wants, but they're outside and he should not be pressing the man against the nearest wall and kissing him breathless. Probably. Yet. But his hand goes up and lingers on the side of Tony's face anyway, just touching.]
Come here often?
action!
Date: 2013-03-05 12:21 am (UTC)For now. There was still a celebratory glass or three to be had later.]
Gotta say, that's a pretty awful pick-up line. How long were you at the bar?
[His lips quirk as he, for some reason, holds back on what would very likely be the dumbest grin to date. Anders's joy is contagious, obvious in everything from his step to the way he's holding himself. There's a happiness in him that Tony doesn't see often, aside from instances here and there when the friggin' cat's around.
... or... okay, there were other times. But that was a different sort of happy. Definitely not the type to advertise in public.]
You don't need to answer that, by the way. The girls will tell me.
[A pause. He clears his throat.}
Feel better? About... you know. I do.
action!
Date: 2013-03-05 07:21 am (UTC)[He knows Stark's employees will probably tell their boss everything. Anders doesn't care, can't care. Right now, there's nothing that can bring his mood down.
Anders' fingers go back, playing with Tony's hair as he nods to the last question.]
Yes. I do. I'd...
[He glances down before meeting Stark's eyes again.]
I don't mean it in a gloomy way. But I'd not remembered what it feels like to be... be loved. And to love in return. I thought maybe, since the moment I had to leave you, that there was more. And then when you were convinced...
[Anders shakes his head.]
I feel better. [His heart feels like it's about to pound out of his chest as he leans in, mouth close to Tony's ear, for one more sentence.] And I love you.
action!
Date: 2013-03-07 05:42 am (UTC)[Stark exhales, not realizing the breath is a shaky one til he feels the shudder at his core. The whole scene -- the two of them standing out here in the damn cold, knowing what they know and saying what they're trying to -- isn't something he's wrapped his head around yet.
There's confusion, but no fear.
He leans into the mage, into the words, and finds the ones he needs to return. It's easier without eye contact, for some guilty reason. You don't have to see yourself in them, a reflection of someone you hope won't fail the man somewhere down the line.]
You too. [Come on, now. Breathe.] I love you, too.
action!
Date: 2013-03-07 07:00 am (UTC)This is real. It won't last a lifetime, and they'll be torn from it all too soon, but they've fixed things from the fight and they survived Guardian thus far.
And then Tony speaks again. Anders closes his eyes, memorizing those words and this moment. There's still a nip to the air, the scent of meats and grease radiate from a diner nearby, and somewhere a dog is barking. It's perfect. Ordinary and entirely not.
He leans his cheek against Tony's for a brief moment before pulling back, eyes open again and shining bright.]
I think we were planning on celebrating. Where to...
[Anders trails off before finishing the sentence. He'd heard the shaky breath. He should probably hold off a bit longer before calling Tony 'love,' just for the man's sake.]
Where to, Tony? ...Incidentally, did you notice me slip up at the Clinic before? Neither Martha nor I are sure on that.
action
Date: 2013-03-19 06:10 am (UTC)-- yeah. I thought something was weird about it. Was just the way it came out. [He smiles faintly, mostly to himself.] I was gonna ask, but kept putting it off.
[Pressing into him, the move done before he's even realized it was happening, there's a strange, new need for closeness. He wishes they were home, tangled in their dark room, talking about these things. There was a newness to everything, and although the weight of the words hadn't yet sunk in, there was still a vulnerability that felt all too exposed out here in the streets. He felt like this thing they had, this whatever-it-was that sat closer to his heart than anything magnetic, could be snatched up. A trinket for some mugger.
So, there was a fear. Silly and illogical, but there nonetheless. Forever a fear of loss.
And not a fear he wanted known. Not seen or heard on his words. Clearing his throat, he glances up to meet the mage's eyes, black on gold.]
Celebrating's happening no matter where we are. Maybe just... maybe we go home, yeah? I'll open something up and we can drink to us. You can tell me why Martha was curious about whether or not I caught you.
action
Date: 2013-03-21 04:51 am (UTC)It's likely better that you put it off. This went...
[He shakes his head, still a bit lost as to how this had even happened.]
This went. And maybe there's no such thing as a perfect time, but I can't see how this could have gone better.
[Anders' smile is entirely crooked and silly as he meets Tony's gaze. There's a sort of effervescent joy bubbling up inside of him as he answers.]
Let's go home, Tony, and I'll tell you anything you'd like.